It's been a wild week. As the senior class advisor, I always dread this week of school. Graduation is this weekend, and there's been a zillion things that have to be done to see graduation through. Most years, this week is busy, and this year has proven to be no exception.
But it's also been a rewarding week. I've had an interesting experience with a few seniors this year. At the school where I work, just as in many high schools, there are plenty of kids who've had to overcome enormous circumstances, grow up faster than they should have to, and somehow survive and make it to graduation. Here's the story...
About 3 months ago, a teacher in our high school, we'll call her Mrs. Z, shared with a few of the staff members an incredibly unfortunate situation for a senior boy. We'll call him Charlie. Charlie is the youngest of four children. His family's never had a lot. Five years ago his father passed away suddenly. His mother remarried a year or two later. On Christmas Eve of 2011, Charlie's mother suffered a massive stroke, and the family had no choice but to put her in a nursing home. Charlie's step dad has been very little to Charlie. (For confidentiality, I can't get into the home-life details) Yet, despite all of this, Charlie is such a great kid. He's kind, hardworking, responsible, mature and positive. He'll give you the shirt off his back in a heartbeat, even though his basic needs are barely met. He shows up to school and does his homework every night despite the fact that he's hungry and lives a life that most of us can't even fathom. He's tried to get a job in town with no luck. I should mention that he doesn't have a cell phone or a drivers license. A teacher at our school helped him get his birth certificate so he could finally get his permit. He walks or hitches a ride with friends everywhere he goes.
A month or two ago, there was some discussion between Charlie and some school staff members about a cap and gown for graduation. Through the generosity of a few staff and community members, Charlie was able to get a cap and gown in order to participate in the graduation ceremonies. After all, he truly does deserve to walk at graduation. He can't help it this is the hand that's been dealt to him. It was also made known around this same time that Charlie does not have dress pants, shirt, tie, or nice shoes to wear at graduation. Per school policy, students are not permitted to wear jeans or tennis shoes with their cap and gown. This would be a real problem for Charlie.
Mrs. Z, several other teachers, and myself decided to take up a collection and the staff members would see to it that Charlie would have something to wear. I sent an email at the beginning of May asking any interested staff to make a donation to the "Charlie Happy Graduation Surprise" fund. The teachers were so generous! We collected $405 from 20 staff members! The people I work with are awesome!!
This week, Mrs. Z and I took Charlie shopping. I felt like I was the mom in The Blind Side, helping this boy who has had very little. I wondered the whole time what he was thinking. He was polite and talkative, yet very humble. We talked about what he really needed. He shared that he really needed socks, a watch, shoes, deodorant, and clothes for graduation. When we went to the sporting good store for tennis shoes, Charlie looked and stared at the shoes for a very long time. I could tell he was a bit out of his element. I wondered if he was uncomfortable with the prices and opportunity to pick out something all his own. His number 1 priority when selecting a shoe was something that would last. He told the sales associate this too. Aww! How many 18 year old kids have this mindset? He eventually found a pair of shoes he liked. I asked him later if he was excited about his new shoes. He seemed happy with them but his comment was, "They were really too expensive if you ask me." I told him that he deserved them as a graduation treat!
Next we went to a department store for clothing. A sales associate helped us measure Charlie for a dress shirt. He also picked out a nice tie that he liked. He tried on some khaki shorts. The sales associate was so nice! She knew we were teachers, and I think she knew we were helping out a kid in need.
We were out of time at this point and had to get back to school. Later that day, Charlie met me back at school and I took him to Walmart. I should say that I've never had this boy in class. I know him from what other teachers have said, and seeing him in the hallways. So he doesn't really know me, and he's riding in my car to Walmart. I'll admit it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but I tried to make Charlie feel comfortable. He and I talked in the car about what his life is like at home and who will be in attendance to see him graduate on Sunday. He will be lucky to have 2 family members there! Once at Walmart, we found some dress shoes and socks. Charlie asked if he could get some white socks. I told him to pick out what he needed. I was really surprised when he tossed two large packs of white socks in the cart. This boy must not have any socks! I also convinced him to buy a few pairs of shorts and a tshirt or two.
After all of this was done, we had about $110 left. Mrs. Z found out that Charlie is going to share a graduation party with another classmate. It goes without saying that Charlie won't have a graduation party at his own house thrown by his family. So, we contacted the classmate's mother and gave some cash to her to help with the Charlie/Friend graduation party expenses.
With the balance of the money, I took Charlie to the bank in town today. I helped him open a checking account. The boy has never had a bank account, so he has no money of his own. He took a finance class at our school, so he knows how a checking account works. In fact, he told me he still has all of the notes and materials from that class. We talked about how the account will work, and I helped him sign up for a debit card.
It really was like The Blind Side today. I wish I could bring this boy home with me. I wish I could bring many of my students home with me. They're good kids with crap lives. I hope and pray that Charlie will spend his money wisely. I hope he's responsible with his bank account. I hope he gets the job he's waiting to hear about. I pray that he finds his way out. He certainly has the potential.
So in a way--though it's been busy--it's been a rewarding week. I've been late picking up Vera all week. It's meant going back to school in the evenings to finish my work. But if that's what I have to do to help someone in need, I can do it. I know that when I bring my daughter home, she'll be loved and cared for. Charlie can't say the same.
Would you say this is a problem? Vera "just had to get up there." She was so excited to play with all of the "new" baby toys.
