The First Week at Home

When we had Vera, I remember someone telling me that the first weeks at home are "survival" weeks.  I truly believe that you have to do whatever works in the first weeks at home.  It couldn't have been more true for us.  I was nursing as much as I could, but tried not to stress too much about supplimenting with a bottle.  The four of us slept wherever we fell.  Vera spent a few nights in our bed while one of us slept on the couch.  Bad habits can be addressed in the weeks to come.  For now, we'll do what works.

I told Adam on the way home from the hospital that every doctor, nurse, and lactation consultant will tell you something different about nursing, bottles and pacifiers.  We both agreed that you have to do what you feel is best, along with some common sense.  Up until this point, we were feeding Vin some formula to fill his belly.  We also started to use a pacifier because he always needed something in his mouth...either his fingers, a paci, bottle, or nursing.  It was working, and we were in survival mode.

Our first night at home was long.  Vince really didn't sleep much at all.  Adam and I took shifts so we could each get just a little rest.  At 3:30am, I woke up to a storm outside.  It was really windy with lots of lightening.  Our power went out for about 10 minutes.  How ironic!  Our first night at home with Vera also included a power outage for a few hours.

July 1 was our first full day at home.  We did absolutely nothing except take care of 2 kids and rest.  It was really hot outside, and I think we stayed in all day. We ordered lunch from Creekside--again, survival mode.  Vince ate almost every hour that day, mostly comfort nursing.  He was always hungry and not content for long.  I was really torn -- nursing a baby every hour is exhausting, but the other side of me knew that it's what he needed.  His circumcision and mouth were both very sore.  I knew that nursing was a comfort that made him feel safe.  I also knew that good nutrition would help him heal faster.  I cried about this a few times. It was a helpless and heartbreaking feeling to see his ouchies.  Plus, all of the emotions and changes of a postpartum mom don't help matters.  Through our struggles with a fussy and hungry baby, Adam and I kept encouraging each other by saying "It will get better."  I bet we said that a half dozen times each day for the first week.

Poor Vera didn't even get her hair combed on our first day at home.  Look at this rat's nest!

Vera took some pictures of us as we rested on the couch.

In the afternoon, we gave Vince his first bath at home.  Vera was so excited to help.  Right away, she ran to the bathroom to get some of her tub toys for Vince to play with while he took a bath.  :)  We had to explain to her how a newborn takes a bath.  Vera stood on her stool and watched closely.  Her job was to help wash and comb his hair.  Vince screamed through the entire bath.

Clean baby!

That evening after a visit from Brian, Crystal, Noah, Dylan, Mike & Rosie, I remember Vince cried for almost 2 hours.  We were learning what worked, and nothing seemed to comfort him.  I flew most of that night solo because Adam went back to work the next day.  I remember baby Vin cried non-stop from 3a to 4:30a.  As a last resort, I went digging through baby clothes and found my swaddle from Vera.  I wrapped him up really tight and gave him a bottle.  He calmed down and slept for a few hours after that.  Survival.

On Wednesday at 7am, as Vin and I were waking up, my mom was knocking at the door.  She was so much help that day!  I cried when she left.  She did laundry, made dinner, ran errands, took care of kids, and did whatever had to be done.

Beautiful flowers from Fred & Patty and Midmark.

I took Vince to his newborn well-check that morning.  Vera cried when I left, which was hard.  Earlier in the morning, Vera was acting out by jumping on furniture.  She knows she isn't allowed to do this.  When my mom and I corrected her, she said, "Mom, I just want to make you laugh!"  OMG--I almost started crying right there.  She was starving for my attention.  Adam and I agreed to try really hard to include her in Vince's care.  Not an easy task.  It makes me tear up every time I think about her saying those words to me.

4 days old

Vin's well-check went very well.  He gained a slight amount of weight, his circumcision looked good, and he was given a clean bill of health.  The poor guy received his first Hepatitis shot.  Another ouchie for our tiny, tough little guy.

6 days old

Later in the week was July 4 holiday, so Adam was home for a long weekend.  I was so relieved to have his help through the day, but also at night.  On the 4th, we went to Diane and Brian's house for a cook out.  It was beautiful weather and a chance to get out for an hour or two.  Vera had so much fun playing with the other kids, and she cried when we had to go home.  Vince cried for several hours while we were at the party.  Adam and I passed him back and forth and tried everything.  Finally, we resorted to putting him in his car seat and going outside while he cried.  Within a few short minutes, he gave up and slept for several hours.  This was the beginning of learning that he prefers to be left alone as he's trying to fall asleep.  Rocking and holding him seem to make things worse.

Vince was still very fussy.  He was hungry all the time, and I was miserably sore from constantly nursing an aggressive eater.  He constantly was looking for something to eat.  He'd suck on his sleeve, fingers, our shirts, and even the side of his car seat.  Finally, on the evening of July 4, I decided to start pumping and feeding bottles to give myself a chance to heal.  Survival.  It was such a good move!  Vince started being more content for a little longer, and I could start to notice consistencies in his habits and schedule.

Big sister Vera!  She's doing so well.  You can see the white scab in his mouth in this picture.  Poor guy!!

For the first week at home, the little guy slept mostly in his swing at night and I on the couch.  Toward the weekend, I moved him to his car seat to sleep.  On Saturday evening, we put him in his bedroom in his car seat.  It was so nice for everyone (minus baby) to sleep in their own beds!  Vin slept in about 3-4 hour stretches in his car seat.  I don't want to make a habit of car seat sleeping, but it's working for now.

Each day is getting a little easier.  This photo was on Facebook recently, and it was just the reminder I needed.