There were no consistencies at all. Some days he'd put himself to sleep in the bouncy seat, and the next day, he hated it every time I tried. Some days he'd sit and be content in his seat in the kitchen, and the next hour he would have nothing to do with it. I gave up on the swing because it always made the screaming worse. One hour he would be the sweetest, snuggly little baby, and the next hour I was ready to ship him out.
We never have to worry about losing his pacifier because it is always in his mouth, 24/7--no exaggeration. I have been unsuccessful in getting him to sleep in his bed. The car seat was working really well, but then suddenly that wasn't working anymore either. Sleeping on his back was no longer something I even tried. Belly sleeping seemed to work sometimes, but not for longer than an hour or two. Early in the week, Vin was struggling to take a bottle and pacifier. I really think he was experiencing some nipple confusion. I went out and bought some new pacifiers, and I was ready to buy new bottles. Several times through the week, I ate my lunch sitting on the floor rocking a bouncy seat while I pumped. Plus, I have Vera here who also needs my time and attention. I feel so guilty seeing her in front of the TV. It was impossible to plan anything or attempt to go anywhere because I never knew what was going to happen next with little Vin.
Everyone kept telling me it was going to get better. Each day I'd wake up with a positive attitude thinking, "Today is the day. Things are going to turn around today." And then I'd be sorely disappointed and depressed when it was the same ole craziness. I text my mom almost everyday letting her know the successes and disappointments of the day. I cried a lot. I said lots of prayers this week too, and even a few times out loud I would say, "God please help me. I need help right now!" in the midst of baby's crying and my frustration and exhaustion.
I felt like I'd tried everything. I quit drinking milk, watched my diet, tried a new kind of bottle and pacifier, gave formula, put him on his belly, elevated his bed, swaddle, car seat, swing, bouncy seat, chiropractor, stroller ride, singing songs, white noise, soothing sound box, letting him cry...nothing seemed to help on a regular basis. A few days last week, Adam would come home from work and try to step in to give me a break. Some days he could console him and the next minute, Vin was not a fan. As soon as I took him and tried the same things Adam did, Vin would settle down. Exhausting!
By Thursday, I'd had enough. I was at my breaking point. I had my phone in hand ready to dial Betty's Natural Foods, thinking maybe Darrin or Kelly could help us. But I got interrupted and never made the call. Maybe that was God's way of telling me something. Later that morning, I took Vera to Patty's house, and spent a little time talking to Patty. She's like another mother to me, always offering great advice and encouragement. I started asking her about the acid reflux her infant granddaughter was treated for a few years ago. She said that her granddaughter was so fussy, wouldn't lay on her back, was never content, would get stiff after feeding, would instantly get upset for no obvious reason, never spit up or vomited...and as she and I talked, I started to have hope. I left Patty's house and went straight home and called our doctor because Patty's description was a carbon copy of Vin. I asked to have an appointment that day, and they told me to come in 15 minutes. We left right away. Vin was pretty fussy at the appointment, and we even had one major crying spell. Jen Phlipot, the nurse practitioner, saw Vin. After a thorough check and several questions, she determined he has GERD, more commonly known as acid reflux, and prescribed Zantac. She said that it could get worse before it gets better, and could take up to a week for it to really take a noticeable effect. Not great news that it could be a week, but at least a possible light at the end of this tunnel. I left the doctor's office feeling optimistic that this could be the answer. I also felt bad about all the crying he'd done for four weeks, now realizing that he was in so much discomfort.
Thursday night was a rough night of sleep--about 3 hours. Friday was my birthday. I was determined that it'd be a good day. The first hour was great. Vin sat in his seat content while we ate breakfast and got our day started. Everything fell apart shortly after that. He wouldn't nap or settle down enough to rest. I started to get discouraged. Vera asked if we could bake a cake for my birthday. I didn't have the heart to tell her no, but I couldn't manage the mess of baking a cake. Honestly, I didn't even know if I had a cake mix in the house. I resorted to loading everyone in the car and driving to Greenville so Vince would fall asleep in the car. I told Vera she could pick out a birthday cake for me. She picked a cute butterfly cake with white and teal icing. Vince fell asleep on the ride over, but of course woke up when we went in the store, and he cried while we were in the store. I was defeated again. On the way home, I cried lots of tears. I was so tired and bummed because it was turning out to be a lousy birthday. The rest of the day wasn't much better, but I kept trying to find the positives. Vera, Vince and Adam got me flowers and a much-needed day at the spa to relax. We went to the drive-thru at Maid Rite for our supper, and Vince screamed through that too. In the evening, I took Vera to my parents' house, and enjoyed a quiet car ride by myself.
On Friday night, I got some rest thanks to Adam. He stepped in and rocked for a few hours through the night so I could sleep. I woke up on Saturday feeling much better. It was a good day. All day I kept pretending Saturday was my birthday. Vin was content, took a nap, and didn't have any major meltdowns. I reluctantly kept my fingers crossed that we were on the up-swing. Sunday was even better. We went to church, had lunch with some friends, Vin took a 3 hour nap in his bed, and he sat outside in his stroller for a few hours in the evening. No meltdowns. That night, he slept 5.5 hours in his bed. I woke up Monday morning thinking this was the turning point. I was cautiously optimistic that life was about to get better. Wrong. It was a difficult day on Monday. No napping, lots of meltdowns and hours of rocking. I'll keep praying and hoping for better days consistently. I know he can do it!
 |
| 5 Weeks Old. #1 Little Brother |
I also have a new respect for parents who have had fussy babies. Before Vin, when someone told me their child was a fussy baby, I never understood what that really meant. I have a new respect for those parents who survived the weeks and months of anxiety. Until you experience a crying baby for hours each day, you really have no idea. With that being said, it also gives me hope and strength to know that we, too, will make it through this trying time. After all, this is our cross to walk, and God only gives you what he knows you can handle.
No comments:
Post a Comment